> Welcome back, Michael. Well, another red letter day in POTA
>history. "Austin Powers 3" made $73 million and claimed the title
>of biggest July opening, from POTA. I guess all we have left now is
>the movie to enjoy.

----- Original Message -----

From: LordTZer0@...

To: pota@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Tuesday, July 30, 2002 9:09 PM

Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Spoofs

"Ask Dr. Zira"

I'd like to change my vote to that one.
I believe it was the one guest staring Roseanne.
I'd love to get it on tape.  I'm going to have to start
watching for it in syndication so I can tape it. Very funny.

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the .

>From: "mystic4ever" <mystic4ever@...>
>Reply-To: pota@yahoogroups.com
>To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
>Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Toons on DVD
>Date: Wed, 31 Jul 2002 06:52:21 -0400
>
>Anyone heard from Al on how he's doing with the cartoons on DVD?
>
>Thanks!
>
>Dan
>
>

----- Original Message -----

From: Haristas@...

To: pota@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Tuesday, July 30, 2002 8:54 AM

Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Spoofs

Did anybody else here see the APES paradies on MAD TV?  "Ask Dr. Zira" and "Elvis On The Planet With Some Apes."   I just remembered them.

-- Rory

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the .

>From: "whitty@..." <whitty@...>
>Reply-To: pota@yahoogroups.com
>To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
>Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Conquest DVD
>Date: Thu, 01 Aug 2002 13:59:42 +1000
>
>Alex,
>
>Has the DVD arrived yet?
>
>It has been rather quiet today - maybe time for an interesting topic?
>
>I can't think of one right now.....
>
>Michael
>

>From: <veetus@...>
>Reply-To: pota@yahoogroups.com
>To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
>Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Who's birthday is it (July 31)?
>Date: Wed, 31 Jul 2002 21:45:00 -0700
>
> Happy Birthday to Don ("Breck") Murray, 73 today. At this rate it WILL
>take a nuclear bomb to kill him, right Kolp? Etc.
> - - - Jeff
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Haristas@...
> To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Tuesday, July 30, 2002 8:54 AM
> Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Spoofs
>
>
> Did anybody else here see the APES paradies on MAD TV? "Ask Dr. Zira"
>and "Elvis On The Planet With Some Apes." I just remembered them.
>
> -- Rory
>
>
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>

----- Original Message -----
From: "Alexander Ruiz" <thaderules@...>
To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, July 31, 2002 9:56 PM
Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Who's birthday is it (July 31)?


> I didn't know he was still alive.
>
> Best.
> Al
>
>
> >From: <veetus@...>
> >Reply-To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> >To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
> >Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Who's birthday is it (July 31)?
> >Date: Wed, 31 Jul 2002 21:45:00 -0700
> >
> > Happy Birthday to Don ("Breck") Murray, 73 today. At this rate it WILL
> >take a nuclear bomb to kill him, right Kolp? Etc.
> > - - - Jeff
> >
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: Haristas@...
> > To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> > Sent: Tuesday, July 30, 2002 8:54 AM
> > Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Spoofs
> >
> >
> > Did anybody else here see the APES paradies on MAD TV? "Ask Dr. Zira"
> >and "Elvis On The Planet With Some Apes." I just remembered them.
> >
> > -- Rory
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
> >
>
>
>
>
> _____

--- In pota@y..., "Alexander Ruiz" <thaderules@h...> wrote:
> I didn't know he was still alive.
>
> Best.
> Al
>
>
> >From: <veetus@e...>
> >Reply-To: pota@y...
> >To: <pota@y...>
> >Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Who's birthday is it (July 31)?
> >Date: Wed, 31 Jul 2002 21:45:00 -0700
> >
> > Happy Birthday to Don ("Breck") Murray, 73 today. At this rate
it WILL
> >take a nuclear bomb to kill him, right Kolp?
Etc.
> > - - - Jeff
> >
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: Haristas@a...
> > To: pota@y...
> > Sent: Tuesday, July 30, 2002 8:54 AM
> > Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Spoofs
> >
> >
> > Did anybody else here see the APES paradies on MAD TV? "Ask
Dr. Zira"
> >and "Elvis On The Planet With Some Apes." I just remembered
them.
> >
> > -- Rory
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
> >
>
>
>
>
> _____

----- Original Message -----
From: "james611102" <JamesA1102@...>
To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, August 01, 2002 4:01 AM
Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Who's birthday is it (July 31)?


> Forget Murray. Look at Ricardo Montalban, the guy is over 80 and is
> in a major movie coming out this weekend.
>
> --- In pota@y..., "Alexander Ruiz" <thaderules@h...> wrote:
> > I didn't know he was still alive.
> >
> > Best.
> > Al
> >
> >
> > >From: <veetus@e...>
> > >Reply-To: pota@y...
> > >To: <pota@y...>
> > >Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Who's birthday is it (July 31)?
> > >Date: Wed, 31 Jul 2002 21:45:00 -0700
> > >
> > > Happy Birthday to Don ("Breck") Murray, 73 today. At this rate
> it WILL
> > >take a nuclear bomb to kill him, right Kolp?
> Etc.
> > > - - - Jeff
> > >
> > >
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: Haristas@a...
> > > To: pota@y...
> > > Sent: Tuesday, July 30, 2002 8:54 AM
> > > Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Spoofs
> > >
> > >
> > > Did anybody else here see the APES paradies on MAD TV? "Ask
> Dr. Zira"
> > >and "Elvis On The Planet With Some Apes." I just remembered
> them.
> > >
> > > -- Rory
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service.
> > >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > _____

----- Original Message -----
From: <veetus@...>
To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, August 01, 2002 5:55 AM
Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Who's birthday is it (July 31)?


> Not only that, they've already announced "Spy Kids 3" will be released
> next year (hopefully Montalban doesn't get killed in "2"). But the winner
is
> John Huston, who was directing movies in his '80's (I think J. Lee
Thompson
> too). Etc. - - Jeff
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "james611102" <JamesA1102@...>
> To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
> Sent: Thursday, August 01, 2002 4:01 AM
> Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Who's birthday is it (July 31)?
>
>
> > Forget Murray. Look at Ricardo Montalban, the guy is over 80 and is
> > in a major movie coming out this weekend.
> >
> > --- In pota@y..., "Alexander Ruiz" <thaderules@h...> wrote:
> > > I didn't know he was still alive.
> > >
> > > Best.
> > > Al
> > >
> > >
> > > >From: <veetus@e...>
> > > >Reply-To: pota@y...
> > > >To: <pota@y...>
> > > >Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Who's birthday is it (July 31)?
> > > >Date: Wed, 31 Jul 2002 21:45:00 -0700
> > > >
> > > > Happy Birthday to Don ("Breck") Murray, 73 today. At this rate
> > it WILL
> > > >take a nuclear bomb to kill him, right Kolp?
> > Etc.
> > > > - - - Jeff
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > > From: Haristas@a...
> > > > To: pota@y...
> > > > Sent: Tuesday, July 30, 2002 8:54 AM
> > > > Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Spoofs
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Did anybody else here see the APES paradies on MAD TV? "Ask
> > Dr. Zira"
> > > >and "Elvis On The Planet With Some Apes." I just remembered
> > them.
> > > >
> > > > -- Rory
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> > Service.
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > _____

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Alexander Ruiz [thaderules@...]
> Sent: Wednesday, 31 July 2002 1:25
> To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Austin Powers [OT]
>
>
>
> After seeing, Austin Powers Goldmember, I see what everyone means.
> Overall I thoght the story line was pretty good, especially the
> revelation
> on Dr. Evil in the end as well as the touching moment, that was pretty
> funny. But I thought there was way too much singing and dancing
> in the film
> and taking too light of it all. And while there was many original funny
> moments in the film, a lot of jokes used in the past Austin Powers films
> where way over done, making it look, way too corny.
>
> I thought the joke said by Dr. Evil. "This is my submarine, it's long and
> hard and full of seamen." Was totaly wack! And really original. That was
> funny. :o)
>
> Best.
> Al
>
>
>
>
>
> _____

--- In pota@y..., <veetus@e...> wrote:
> Speaking of life after POTA, Tim Burton was actually able to get
a job
> after POTA2001. "Hollywood Reporter " has announced the casting of
Ewan
> McGregor and Albert Finney (as father and son) in Burton's "Big
Fish", based
> on Daniel Wallace's book. Speaking of big fish, Richard Zanuck
will produce.
> Etc. - - - Jeff
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: <veetus@e...>
> To: <pota@y...>
> Sent: Thursday, August 01, 2002 5:55 AM
> Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Who's birthday is it (July 31)?
>
>
> > Not only that, they've already announced "Spy Kids 3" will be
released
> > next year (hopefully Montalban doesn't get killed in "2"). But
the winner
> is
> > John Huston, who was directing movies in his '80's (I think J.
Lee
> Thompson
> > too). Etc. - - Jeff
> >
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "james611102" <JamesA1102@a...>
> > To: <pota@y...>
> > Sent: Thursday, August 01, 2002 4:01 AM
> > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Who's birthday is it (July 31)?
> >
> >
> > > Forget Murray. Look at Ricardo Montalban, the guy is over 80
and is
> > > in a major movie coming out this weekend.
> > >
> > > --- In pota@y..., "Alexander Ruiz" <thaderules@h...> wrote:
> > > > I didn't know he was still alive.
> > > >
> > > > Best.
> > > > Al
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > >From: <veetus@e...>
> > > > >Reply-To: pota@y...
> > > > >To: <pota@y...>
> > > > >Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Who's birthday is it (July
31)?
> > > > >Date: Wed, 31 Jul 2002 21:45:00 -0700
> > > > >
> > > > > Happy Birthday to Don ("Breck") Murray, 73 today. At
this rate
> > > it WILL
> > > > >take a nuclear bomb to kill him, right Kolp?
> > > Etc.
> > > > > - - - Jeff
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > > > From: Haristas@a...
> > > > > To: pota@y...
> > > > > Sent: Tuesday, July 30, 2002 8:54 AM
> > > > > Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Spoofs
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Did anybody else here see the APES paradies on MAD
TV? "Ask
> > > Dr. Zira"
> > > > >and "Elvis On The Planet With Some Apes." I just
remembered
> > > them.
> > > > >
> > > > > -- Rory
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms
of
> > > Service.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
_____

----- Original Message -----

From: mlccougar@...

To: pota@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Friday, August 02, 2002 9:34 AM

Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Age?

In a message dated 8/1/2002 7:51:48 AM Central Standard Time, veetus@... writes:

But the winner is
John Huston, who was directing movies in his '80's (I think J. Lee Thompson
too). Etc.   - - Jeff

How old is J. Lee Thompson? Does anyone know?


Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the .

> OK since it's quiet again here's a new question. If you were to
> remake, not reimagine, the original POTA; who would you cast in the
> major roles?
>
> Here are my choices:
>
> Taylor...Nicholas Cage (He's not the matinee idol Heston was, but
> has the depth and intensity to pull off such a complex role.)
> Cornelius...Colin Firth (Great at playing put upon intellectual
> geeks and hell he's British.)
> Zira...Holly Hunter (Has the humanity passion and spunk for the

> as well as proven chemistry with Cage.)
> Dr. Zaius...Patrick Stewart (Great actor with a great voice. Can't
> imagine anyone better at snarling out some of Zaius' lines.)
> Landon...Ben Affleck (Just want to he him lobotimized, but then
> again you might not be able to tell the difference.)
> Nova...Jennifer Love Hewitt (Can't act but would look great in that
> costume.)
>
>
>
>
>

>
>
>

--- In pota@y..., "whitty@c..." <whitty@c...> wrote:
> Taylor...Bruce Willis (Played lots of tough guys and moneyspinner
> roles, but his performance in 12 Monkeys was great acting and he
went
> through all the abligatory Taylor expressions).
>
> Cornelius...Malcolm MacDowall (Great actor, similar voice and
vocab
> to Roddy, and hell he's British. Not sure if he is well hung and
gay
> though....)
>
> Zira...Helena Bonham Carter (with better makeup and direction).
>
> Dr. Zaius...Patrick Stewart (terrific pick James)
>
> Landon...Matt Damon (looks like a clean cut American boy)
>
> Nova...Elle MacPherson (wearing as little as possible - hell, this
is
> the 21st Century so let's go topless!!!).
>
>
>
>
> --- "james611102" <JamesA1102@a...> wrote:
> > OK since it's quiet again here's a new question. If you were to
> > remake, not reimagine, the original POTA; who would you cast in
the
> > major roles?
> >
> > Here are my choices:
> >
> > Taylor...Nicholas Cage (He's not the matinee idol Heston was,
but
> > has the depth and intensity to pull off such a complex role.)
> > Cornelius...Colin Firth (Great at playing put upon intellectual
> > geeks and hell he's British.)
> > Zira...Holly Hunter (Has the humanity passion and spunk for the
> role
> > as well as proven chemistry with Cage.)
> > Dr. Zaius...Patrick Stewart (Great actor with a great voice.
Can't
> > imagine anyone better at snarling out some of Zaius' lines.)
> > Landon...Ben Affleck (Just want to he him lobotimized, but then
> > again you might not be able to tell the difference.)
> > Nova...Jennifer Love Hewitt (Can't act but would look great in
that
> > costume.)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
> >
> >
> >

----- Original Message -----

From: whitty@...

To: pota@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Thursday, August 01, 2002 9:43 PM

Subject: [Planet of the Apes] POTA Remake

Taylor...Bruce Willis (Played lots of tough guys and moneyspinner
roles, but his performance in 12 Monkeys was great acting and he went
through all the abligatory Taylor expressions).

Cornelius...Malcolm MacDowall (Great actor, similar voice and vocab
to Roddy, and hell he's British.  Not sure if he is well hung and gay
though....)

Zira...Helena Bonham Carter (with better makeup and direction).

Dr. Zaius...Patrick Stewart (terrific pick James)

Landon...Matt Damon (looks like a clean cut American boy)

Nova...Elle MacPherson (wearing as little as possible - hell, this is
the 21st Century so let's go topless!!!).




--- "james611102" <JamesA1102@...> wrote:
> OK since it's quiet again here's a new question. If you were to
> remake, not reimagine, the original POTA; who would you cast in the
> major roles?
>
> Here are my choices:
>
> Taylor...Nicholas Cage (He's not the matinee idol Heston was, but
> has the depth and intensity to pull off such a complex role.)
> Cornelius...Colin Firth (Great at playing put upon intellectual
> geeks and hell he's British.)
> Zira...Holly Hunter (Has the humanity passion and spunk for the
role
> as well as proven chemistry with Cage.)
> Dr. Zaius...Patrick Stewart (Great actor with a great voice. Can't
> imagine anyone better at snarling out some of Zaius' lines.)
> Landon...Ben Affleck (Just want to he him lobotimized, but then
> again you might not be able to tell the difference.)
> Nova...Jennifer Love Hewitt (Can't act but would look great in that
> costume.)
>
>
> 
>
>

>
>
>




Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the .

>From: "Michael Whitty" <whitty@...>
>Reply-To: pota@yahoogroups.com
>To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
>Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Austin Powers [OT]
>Date: Wed, 3 Jul 2002 07:42:50 +1000
>
>Well I am just about to give a dishonourable discharge to the seamen in my
>long hard submarine.
>
>I heard that joke when I was 12!
>
>Michael
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Alexander Ruiz [thaderules@...]
> > Sent: Wednesday, 31 July 2002 1:25
> > To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> > Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Austin Powers [OT]
> >
> >
> >
> > After seeing, Austin Powers Goldmember, I see what everyone means.
> > Overall I thoght the story line was pretty good, especially the
> > revelation
> > on Dr. Evil in the end as well as the touching moment, that was pretty
> > funny. But I thought there was way too much singing and dancing
> > in the film
> > and taking too light of it all. And while there was many original funny
> > moments in the film, a lot of jokes used in the past Austin Powers films
> > where way over done, making it look, way too corny.
> >
> > I thought the joke said by Dr. Evil. "This is my submarine, it's long
>and
> > hard and full of seamen." Was totaly wack! And really original. That was
> > funny. :o)
> >
> > Best.
> > Al
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > _____

----- Original Message -----
From: <MTotsky@...>
To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, August 01, 2002 7:47 AM
Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Who's birthday is it (July 31)?


> Wasn't Linda Harrison's birthday the other day?
>
> Matt
>
>
>
>
>
>

--- In pota@y..., "Ken and Heather Taylor" <ktaylor@z...> wrote:
>
> and for the direct-to-video version...
>
>
> Taylor... Tom Arnold
> Cornelius : Tom Green
> Zira : Linda Hunt or Joan Rivers
> Dr Zaius : Rip Taylor
> Landon : Eric Roberts
> Nova : Edith Massey or Angela Landsbury

--- In pota@y..., LordTZer0@A... wrote:
>
> > Zira...Holly Hunter
>
> Whaddaya? NUTS?
> Right height, wrong voice!

----- Original Message -----
From: "james611102" <JamesA1102@...>
To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, August 02, 2002 1:02 PM
Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA Remake


> LOL Good choices but who are Rip Taylor and Edith Massey?
>
> --- In pota@y..., "Ken and Heather Taylor" <ktaylor@z...> wrote:
> >
> > and for the direct-to-video version...
> >
> >
> > Taylor... Tom Arnold
> > Cornelius : Tom Green
> > Zira : Linda Hunt or Joan Rivers
> > Dr Zaius : Rip Taylor
> > Landon : Eric Roberts
> > Nova : Edith Massey or Angela Landsbury
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

--- In pota@y..., LordTZer0@A... wrote:
Nick Cage? What are you
> thinking? That's worse then Bruce Willis!

I was thinking that he's a great actor with the right intesity who
is not a stranger to action flicks. But you're free to disagree.
Would like to hear your choices for all the parts.

----- Original Message -----
From: <LordTZer0@...>
To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, August 02, 2002 2:14 PM
Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA Remake


> He wore a terrible wig that looked very Zaius-esque ( but worn
backwards?).
>
> Yeah don't forget his wacky mustache and poofy voice. He was a pre-Carrot
> Top prop comic. Pre-Gallagher for that matter. And his jokes were so bad
> the stung!
>
> Is that belt too tight Toulouse? Ouch!
>
>
>
>
>
>

> -----Original Message-----
> From: LordTZer0@... [LordTZer0@...]
> Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 13:07
> To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA Remake

> refusal would go to Will Smith!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

--- In pota@y..., "Mike Le Master" <mslpel5@c...> wrote:
> I think a very convincing Nova would be Catherine Zeta-Jones. I
also 100% agree on the Bruce Willis as Taylor and the Malcom
McDowell as Cornelius.

--- In pota@y..., LordTZer0@A... wrote:
>
> > I was thinking that he's a great actor with the right intesity
who
> > is not a stranger to action flicks. But you're free to disagree.
> > Would like to hear your choices for all the parts
>
> He's too short. Not only that but we're used to seeing him get
his ass
> kicked. It happens every movie. First he gets his ass kicked
then he comes
> back. He's not the Heston type, and consiquently not the Taylor
Type. He'd
> be better than The two Toms though. But I really can't think of
anyone
> working today that I would cast as Moses, Ben Hur or Taylor. I
think if I
> was going to cast someone who usually gets his ass kicked before
he kicks ass
> it'd be Mel Gibson.

--- In pota@y..., MTotsky@a... wrote:
> Cool topic! I will do two lists, one serious and one if they were
to redo POTA with a light-hearted touch:
>
> Serious:
>
> Taylor: Edward Norton
> Cornelius: Richard Dreyfuss
> Zira: Jodie Foster
> Zaius: Daniel Day Lewis
> Marcus - Hunt Leader: Robert De Niro
> Nova: Catherine Zeta Jones
>
> Light:
>
> Taylor: Jim Carrey
> Cornelius: Ben Stillar
> Zira: Jeannene Garofelo
> Zaius: Jim Carrey (in a duel role)
> Marcus - Hunt Leader: Robin Williams
> Nova: Mira Sorvino
>
>
> Matt

--- In pota@y..., "Michael Whitty" <whitty@c...> wrote:
> Will can be Dodge.
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: LordTZer0@A... [LordTZer0@A...]
> > Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 13:07
> > To: pota@y...
> > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA Remake
>
> > refusal would go to Will Smith!
> >
> >
> >
> >

> >
> >
> >

----- Original Message -----
From: "james611102" <JamesA1102@...>
To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, August 02, 2002 6:36 PM
Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake


> No we've already signed Will to play McDonald in the remake of
> Conquest. LOL
>
> --- In pota@y..., "Michael Whitty" <whitty@c...> wrote:
> > Will can be Dodge.
> >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: LordTZer0@A... [LordTZer0@A...]
> > > Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 13:07
> > > To: pota@y...
> > > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA Remake
> >
> > > refusal would go to Will Smith!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
>
> > >
> > >
> > >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

----- Original Message -----
From: "DarthMarauder" <fowlness@...>
To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, August 02, 2002 6:28 PM
Subject: [Planet of the Apes] New Member


> Just wanted to say hi. My name is John. I was an extra on the
> latest Planet of the Apes movie. I had a lot of fun. Thought this
> would be a good place to talk about POTA. Talk to y'all later.
>
> p.s.
> If you'd like to check out some pics I took while working on the
> film go to http://communities.msn.com/redapearmy. I think you'll
> enjoy them.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

<Taylor...Nicholas Cage (He's not the matinee idol Heston was, but
has the depth and intensity to pull off such a complex role.) >

But can you imagine him screaming "What are you afraid of?"  How about, "Get your damned dirty paws..."

nah.

Bruce Willis?  maybe, but I can't see it. He could look and sound gritty enough, but he doesn't quite have Heston's (egomanical) charisma. The problem here for me is that the thought of replacing Heston is HERESY! 

Even replacing Nova with Elle just makes me want to throw-up, and I know Linda wasn't THAT great.  But she IS Nova. (And her dumb-and-distressed mode was good)

And nobody loved the apes better than Roddy.  (Ah-hem).  Somebody said he was well-hung?  I'd like to know your source.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Ken and Heather Taylor" <ktaylor@...>
To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, August 02, 2002 1:49 AM
Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake


> And when the budget is cut for the remake of Battle, we can get Martin
> Lawrence or Damon Wayons to replace him.
> Speaking of which, I've always wondered why they tried to explain the cast
> change as MacDonald being the brother of MacDonald in Conquest. They
should
> have just ran the character seen in Conquest with a different actor ( in
> worked for Darren in Bewitched ). I can't recall, do they even mention in
> Battle what happened to MacDonald from Conquest?
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "james611102" <JamesA1102@...>
> To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
> Sent: Friday, August 02, 2002 6:36 PM
> Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake
>
>
> > No we've already signed Will to play McDonald in the remake of
> > Conquest. LOL
> >
> > --- In pota@y..., "Michael Whitty" <whitty@c...> wrote:
> > > Will can be Dodge.
> > >
> > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > From: LordTZer0@A... [LordTZer0@A...]
> > > > Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 13:07
> > > > To: pota@y...
> > > > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA Remake
> > >
> > > > refusal would go to Will Smith!
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >

> >
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

> OK since it's quiet again here's a new question. If you were to
> remake, not reimagine, the original POTA; who would you cast in the
> major roles?
>

> Taylor...Ed Harris (Maybe a little bit too old but I think he'd pull

On Friday, August 2, 2002, at 09:16 AM, LordTZer0@... wrote:

> Taylor...Ed Harris (Maybe a little bit too old but I think he'd pull
> it off)

--- In pota@y..., "smugster2000" <4print@a...> wrote:
> Nova... Salma Hayek - Schwing!
>
> Dave

--- In pota@y..., Haristas@a... wrote:
>
>
> Taylor: Daniel Day-Lewis
>
> Cornelius: Johnny Depp
>
> Zira: Winona Ryder
>
> Dr. Zaius: Anthony Hopkins or Marlon Brando
>
> Lucius: Haley Joel Osment
>
> Julius: Vin Diesel
>
> President of the Assembly: Philip Baker Hall
>
> Hunt Leader: Sylvester Stallone
>
> Nova: Patricia Velazquez (that chick from the Mummy movies)

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Alexander Ruiz [thaderules@...]
> Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 12:46
> To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Austin Powers [OT]
>
>
> You must have had an interesting childhood.
> What did you do? Hang out with priests?
>
> Best.
> Al
>
>
> >From: "Michael Whitty" <whitty@...>
> >Reply-To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> >To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
> >Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Austin Powers [OT]
> >Date: Wed, 3 Jul 2002 07:42:50 +1000
> >
> >Well I am just about to give a dishonourable discharge to the
> seamen in my
> >long hard submarine.
> >
> >I heard that joke when I was 12!
> >
> >Michael
> >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: Alexander Ruiz [thaderules@...]
> > > Sent: Wednesday, 31 July 2002 1:25
> > > To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> > > Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Austin Powers [OT]
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > After seeing, Austin Powers Goldmember, I see what everyone means.
> > > Overall I thoght the story line was pretty good, especially the
> > > revelation
> > > on Dr. Evil in the end as well as the touching moment, that was pretty
> > > funny. But I thought there was way too much singing and dancing
> > > in the film
> > > and taking too light of it all. And while there was many
> original funny
> > > moments in the film, a lot of jokes used in the past Austin
> Powers films
> > > where way over done, making it look, way too corny.
> > >
> > > I thought the joke said by Dr. Evil. "This is my submarine, it's long
> >and
> > > hard and full of seamen." Was totaly wack! And really
> original. That was
> > > funny. :o)
> > >
> > > Best.
> > > Al
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > _____ > _____

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Ken and Heather Taylor [ktaylor@...]
> Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 18:50
> To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake
>
>
> And when the budget is cut for the remake of Battle, we can get Martin
> Lawrence or Damon Wayons to replace him.
> Speaking of which, I've always wondered why they tried to explain the cast
> change as MacDonald being the brother of MacDonald in Conquest.
> They should
> have just ran the character seen in Conquest with a different actor ( in
> worked for Darren in Bewitched ). I can't recall, do they even mention in
> Battle what happened to MacDonald from Conquest?
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "james611102" <JamesA1102@...>
> To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
> Sent: Friday, August 02, 2002 6:36 PM
> Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake
>
>
> > No we've already signed Will to play McDonald in the remake of
> > Conquest. LOL
> >
> > --- In pota@y..., "Michael Whitty" <whitty@c...> wrote:
> > > Will can be Dodge.
> > >
> > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > From: LordTZer0@A... [LordTZer0@A...]
> > > > Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 13:07
> > > > To: pota@y...
> > > > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA Remake
> > >
> > > > refusal would go to Will Smith!
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >

>
>

----- Original Message -----
From: "Michael Whitty" <whitty@...>
To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, July 03, 2002 3:36 PM
Subject: RE: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake


> Caesar ate him
>
> Michael
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Ken and Heather Taylor [ktaylor@...]
> > Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 18:50
> > To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake
> >
> >
> > And when the budget is cut for the remake of Battle, we can get Martin
> > Lawrence or Damon Wayons to replace him.
> > Speaking of which, I've always wondered why they tried to explain the
cast
> > change as MacDonald being the brother of MacDonald in Conquest.
> > They should
> > have just ran the character seen in Conquest with a different actor ( in
> > worked for Darren in Bewitched ). I can't recall, do they even mention
in
> > Battle what happened to MacDonald from Conquest?
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "james611102" <JamesA1102@...>
> > To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
> > Sent: Friday, August 02, 2002 6:36 PM
> > Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake
> >
> >
> > > No we've already signed Will to play McDonald in the remake of
> > > Conquest. LOL
> > >
> > > --- In pota@y..., "Michael Whitty" <whitty@c...> wrote:
> > > > Will can be Dodge.
> > > >
> > > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > > From: LordTZer0@A... [LordTZer0@A...]
> > > > > Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 13:07
> > > > > To: pota@y...
> > > > > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA Remake
> > > >
> > > > > refusal would go to Will Smith!
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
>
> >
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

----- Original Message -----
From: "Michael Whitty" <whitty@...>
To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, July 03, 2002 3:36 PM
Subject: RE: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake


> Caesar ate him
>
> Michael
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Ken and Heather Taylor [ktaylor@...]
> > Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 18:50
> > To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake
> >
> >
> > And when the budget is cut for the remake of Battle, we can get Martin
> > Lawrence or Damon Wayons to replace him.
> > Speaking of which, I've always wondered why they tried to explain the
cast
> > change as MacDonald being the brother of MacDonald in Conquest.
> > They should
> > have just ran the character seen in Conquest with a different actor ( in
> > worked for Darren in Bewitched ). I can't recall, do they even mention
in
> > Battle what happened to MacDonald from Conquest?
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "james611102" <JamesA1102@...>
> > To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
> > Sent: Friday, August 02, 2002 6:36 PM
> > Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake
> >
> >
> > > No we've already signed Will to play McDonald in the remake of
> > > Conquest. LOL
> > >
> > > --- In pota@y..., "Michael Whitty" <whitty@c...> wrote:
> > > > Will can be Dodge.
> > > >
> > > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > > From: LordTZer0@A... [LordTZer0@A...]
> > > > > Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 13:07
> > > > > To: pota@y...
> > > > > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA Remake
> > > >
> > > > > refusal would go to Will Smith!
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
>
> >
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

<Taylor...Nicholas Cage (He's not the matinee idol Heston was, but
has the depth and intensity to pull off such a complex role.) >

But can you imagine him screaming "What are you afraid of?"  How about, "Get your damned dirty paws..."

nah.

Bruce Willis?  maybe, but I can't see it. He could look and sound gritty enough, but he doesn't quite have Heston's (egomanical) charisma. The problem here for me is that the thought of replacing Heston is HERESY! 

Even replacing Nova with Elle just makes me want to throw-up, and I know Linda wasn't THAT great.  But she IS Nova. (And her dumb-and-distressed mode was good)

And nobody loved the apes better than Roddy.  (Ah-hem).  Somebody said he was well-hung?  I'd like to know your source.

Kassidy

> -----Original Message-----
> From: james611102 [JamesA1102@...]
> Sent: Saturday, 3 August 2002 2:10
> To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake
>
>
> I like Salma but how about Angelina Jolie...double schwing!!!
>
> --- In pota@y..., "smugster2000" <4print@a...> wrote:
> > Nova... Salma Hayek - Schwing!
> >
> > Dave
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

> -----Original Message-----
> From: veetus@... [veetus@...]
> Sent: Saturday, 3 August 2002 14:06
> To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Tower of Power
>
>
> I suppose you're wondering why I have this big grin on my face. You want
> to know but you're too polite to ask, right? No, I'm not using my mental
> casting couch to audition actresses for Nova for the current topic. I
> stopped by Tower and the Kubricks are in! $13.99, with the same
> packaging as
> when they were twice as much. This is it, boys and girls. It's either buy,
> buy or bye-bye. The POTA2001 toys were a disaster but by some
> miracle Fox is
> giving us a chance to show it's no reflection on the originals. Tower put
> them in a place of honor, by the registers. They're all there,
> even the iffy
> "Beneath" set. POTA dead? Hah! Etc. - - - Jeff
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Michael Whitty" <whitty@...>
> To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
> Sent: Wednesday, July 03, 2002 3:36 PM
> Subject: RE: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake
>
>
> > Caesar ate him
> >
> > Michael
> >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: Ken and Heather Taylor [ktaylor@...]
> > > Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 18:50
> > > To: pota@yahoogroups.com
> > > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake
> > >
> > >
> > > And when the budget is cut for the remake of Battle, we can get Martin
> > > Lawrence or Damon Wayons to replace him.
> > > Speaking of which, I've always wondered why they tried to explain the
> cast
> > > change as MacDonald being the brother of MacDonald in Conquest.
> > > They should
> > > have just ran the character seen in Conquest with a different
> actor ( in
> > > worked for Darren in Bewitched ). I can't recall, do they even mention
> in
> > > Battle what happened to MacDonald from Conquest?
> > >
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: "james611102" <JamesA1102@...>
> > > To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
> > > Sent: Friday, August 02, 2002 6:36 PM
> > > Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake
> > >
> > >
> > > > No we've already signed Will to play McDonald in the remake of
> > > > Conquest. LOL
> > > >
> > > > --- In pota@y..., "Michael Whitty" <whitty@c...> wrote:
> > > > > Will can be Dodge.
> > > > >
> > > > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > > > From: LordTZer0@A... [LordTZer0@A...]
> > > > > > Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 13:07
> > > > > > To: pota@y...
> > > > > > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA Remake
> > > > >
> > > > > > refusal would go to Will Smith!
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> >
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >

>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

--- In pota@y..., <veetus@e...> wrote:
> No! I hate it when they change actors and pretend it's the same character. At least that's one continuity they got right. Though they didn't really have to call him MacDonald. He could've said, "Jones, when you talk about my parents, please do not speak in riddles".
> - - - Jeff
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Ken and Heather Taylor" <ktaylor@z...>
> To: <pota@y...>
> Sent: Friday, August 02, 2002 1:49 AM
> Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake
>
>
> > And when the budget is cut for the remake of Battle, we can get Martin Lawrence or Damon Wayons to replace him. Speaking of which, I've always wondered why they tried to explain the cast change as MacDonald being the brother of MacDonald in Conquest. They should have just ran the character seen in Conquest with a different actor (it worked for Darren in Bewitched). I can't recall, do they even mention in Battle what happened to MacDonald from Conquest?
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "james611102" <JamesA1102@a...>
> > To: <pota@y...>
> > Sent: Friday, August 02, 2002 6:36 PM
> > Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake
> >
> >
> > > No we've already signed Will to play McDonald in the remake of
> > > Conquest. LOL
> > >
> > > --- In pota@y..., "Michael Whitty" <whitty@c...> wrote:
> > > > Will can be Dodge.
> > > >
> > > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > > From: LordTZer0@A... [LordTZer0@A...]
> > > > > Sent: Friday, 2 August 2002 13:07
> > > > > To: pota@y...
> > > > > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA Remake
> > > >
> > > > > refusal would go to Will Smith!

>
> > Zira: Winona Ryder
>
> Dammit Man, what the hell is wrong with you! You might as well put Keanu as Taylor. Depp I can see as Cornelius, but this? They already ruined Dracula! What more do you want?

----- Original Message -----

From: Haristas@...

To: pota@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Saturday, August 03, 2002 4:29 PM

Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake

In a message dated 8/3/02 11:41:47 AM Eastern Daylight Time, patrickmichaeltilton@... writes:

My preferences for a re-make cast would be:

TAYLOR--George Clooney (or Bruce Willis); both are not-too-young (as
was Mark Wahlberg), and Willis at least has the "Right-Wing"
credentials to follow in Heston's footsteps. I almost put in Stallone
here, just because his "ADRIAN!!!" scream puts him in the running for
the "IT'S A MADHOUSE!!!" line.

ZIRA--Emma Thompson (no question)      

                   TOO BIG!

CORNELIUS--Kenneth Branaugh (I'm sure he & Emma are back on speaking
terms by now! They worked great together in their Shakespearean days.)

----- Original Message -----

From: Haristas@...

To: pota@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Saturday, August 03, 2002 4:39 PM

Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Signs! Signs! Signs! (They're gonna get Ya'!) OT

I saw SIGNS today.  It was pretty good.  I liked it so much I could go see it again, and there's damn few movies I can say that about.

For those of you who don't plan on seeing it, let me tell you the end:

Well, there's this. . .   Oh, just kidding.

Take it away, Jeff, with how much it made on it's first day. (Drum roll please.)

-- Rory

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the .

----- Original Message -----

From: LordTZer0@...

To: pota@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Saturday, August 03, 2002 7:03 PM

Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Signs! Signs! Signs! (They're gonna get Ya'!) OT

Mid-Night Shambala

N. Day Shalamar
Whatever his name is . . .

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the .

----- Original Message -----

From: Michael Whitty

To: pota@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Monday, August 05, 2002 12:51 PM

Subject: RE: [Planet of the Apes] POTA References

Well I don't know the whole story but I think Jeff does and Ken Taylor might too.

 

Chime in fellas.

 

Michael

 

-----Original Message-----
From: Haristas@... [Haristas@...]
Sent: Sunday, 4 August 2002 9:31
To: pota@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA References

In a message dated 8/3/02 7:16:18 PM Eastern Daylight Time, whitty@... writes:

Does anyone here know the full story on the backstage passes?

Michael

No, tell us about it.

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the .


Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the .

----- Original Message -----

From: Michael Whitty

To: pota@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Sunday, August 04, 2002 7:51 PM

Subject: RE: [Planet of the Apes] POTA References

Well I don't know the whole story but I think Jeff does and Ken Taylor might too.

 

Chime in fellas.

 

Michael

 

-----Original Message-----
From: Haristas@... [mailto:Haristas@...]
Sent: Sunday, 4 August 2002 9:31
To: pota@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA References

In a message dated 8/3/02 7:16:18 PM Eastern Daylight Time, whitty@... writes:

Does anyone here know the full story on the backstage passes?

Michael

No, tell us about it.

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.


Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the .

----- Original Message -----

From: veetus@...

To: pota@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Sunday, August 04, 2002 2:02 PM

Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA References

  I don't know, perhaps They Might Be Giant used Ape-themed backstage passes since they had an Ape-themed show in the late '90's. Hey, Bill Blake recently did some work for Roger Daltrey of the Who, and his personal assistant is a big "Apes" fan and has the characters tatooed on his arm. That's devotion. There's no selling off that collection. - - - Jeff

 

 

----- Original Message -----

From: Michael Whitty

To: pota@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Sunday, August 04, 2002 7:51 PM

Subject: RE: [Planet of the Apes] POTA References

Well I don't know the whole story but I think Jeff does and Ken Taylor might too.

 

Chime in fellas.

 

Michael

 

-----Original Message-----
From: Haristas@... [mailto:Haristas@...]
Sent: Sunday, 4 August 2002 9:31
To: pota@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA References

In a message dated 8/3/02 7:16:18 PM Eastern Daylight Time, whitty@... writes:

Does anyone here know the full story on the backstage passes?

Michael

No, tell us about it.

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the .

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the .

> In a message dated 8/3/02 11:41:47 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
> patrickmichaeltilton@y... writes:
>
>
> > My preferences for a re-make cast would be:
> >
> > TAYLOR--George Clooney (or Bruce Willis); both are not-too-young (as
> > was Mark Wahlberg), and Willis at least has the "Right-Wing"
> > credentials to follow in Heston's footsteps. I almost put in Stallone
> > here, just because his "ADRIAN!!!" scream puts him in the running for
> > the "IT'S A MADHOUSE!!!" line.
> >
> > ZIRA--Emma Thompson (no question)
>
> TOO BIG!
>
> > CORNELIUS--Kenneth Branaugh (I'm sure he & Emma are back on speaking
> > terms by now! They worked great together in their Shakespearean days.)
>
> TOO BIG!!
>
> > ZAIUS--Charles Durning or What's-his-name (the actor who played the
> > cop in "FX", played killer-clown John Wayne Gacy, was the bartender in
> > "10", and one of the alien guys in "Cocoon"... Jeezus, what's his damn
> > name?!). I would have chosen Kenneth McMillan (Baron Harkonnen in
> > Lynch's "DUNE"), because he's intimidating enough, but (alas!) he's
> > deceased.
>
> TOO OLD!
>
> > NOVA--Heidi Klum (insert Homer Simpson drooling impression here...)
>
> WHO?
>
> > JULIUS--James Gandolfini (hey, he's a blue-collar worker, if ever
> > there was one!)
>
> TOO BIG!
>
> > LUCIUS--Robert Downey Jr. (he's done the "talks-too-much" routine
> > quite nicely before--remember "Back to School"?--and this "annoying
> > hippie youth" role would fit a misfit like him)
>
> TOO BIG and TOO OUT OF IT!
>
> > HUNT LEADER--Governor Jesse Ventura (remember his remark about
> > "hunting Man" some time back?); either him or Ted Nugent (or, have
> > Nugent be one of the primitive hunted humans, just so he can see what
> > it's like on the receiving end of a hunter's bullet!)
>
> WAY TOO BIG!
>
> > HONORIUS--Kevin Spacey
>
> THINKS HE'S TOO BIG!
>
> > MAXIMUS--Gary Oldman
>
> WANTS TOO MUCH MONEY!
>
> > PRESIDENT OF THE ASSEMBLY--The guy who played Dean Wormer in "National
> > Lampoon's ANIMAL HOUSE". What the smeg was his name?!
>
> YEAH, ONLY ONE PROBLEM --- HE'S BEEN DEAD FOR YEARS!!!
>
> > LANDON--Tom Cruise (the "golden boy"... sounds like a hot-shot "top
> > gun" kinda guy to me).
>
> TOO SMALL!!!
>
>
> > DODGE--Don Cheadle
>
> THINKS HE'S TOO BIG!
>
> > STEWART--Pamela Anderson (before)... then Joan Rivers (after--no
> > makeup needed!)
>
> TOO BIG BOOBED and TOO UGLY!
>
> > and, last but not least...
> >
> > QUENTIN--Haley Joel Osment
>
> WHO?!!
>
> > Patrick

> His friends (like Bruce Willis and Steven Spielberg) just call him Night. Just like we call you Lord. So you guys should be good, then we can call you Good Night and Good Lord. Etc. - - - Jeff
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: LordTZer0@A...
> To: pota@y...
> Sent: Saturday, August 03, 2002 7:03 PM
> Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Signs! Signs! Signs! (They're gonna get Ya'!) OT
>
>
> Mid-Night Shambala
>
>
> N. Day Shalamar
> Whatever his name is . . .

>From: "patrickmichaeltilton" <patrickmichaeltilton@...>
>Reply-To: pota@yahoogroups.com
>To: pota@yahoogroups.com
>Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Re: "SIGNS" (OT) SPOILER ALERT!
>Date: Sun, 04 Aug 2002 14:47:34 -0000
>
>--- In pota@y..., <veetus@e...> wrote:
> > His friends (like Bruce Willis and Steven Spielberg) just call him
>Night. Just like we call you Lord. So you guys should be good, then we can
>call you Good Night and Good Lord. Etc. - - - Jeff
> >
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: LordTZer0@A...
> > To: pota@y...
> > Sent: Saturday, August 03, 2002 7:03 PM
> > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Signs! Signs! Signs! (They're gonna
>get Ya'!) OT
> >
> >
> > Mid-Night Shambala
> >
> >
> > N. Day Shalamar
> > Whatever his name is . . .
>
>*** M. Emmet Shamalamadingdong...?
>
>I saw "SIGNS" the other day, too... and aside from Shyamalan's ability
>to create an eerie, creepy, spooky mood and a few genuinely funny
>moments, I thought this movie was RIDICULOUS. Mind you, I thought "THE
>SIXTH SENSE" was fantastic, and I was one of the few who thought
>"UNBREAKABLE" was pretty damn good (although not quite as good as "6th
>Sense"); but "SIGNS" is built on a premise that is so bogus
>theologically as to be laughable.
>
>SPOILER ALERT!!! Don't read any further if you haven't seen "SIGNS"
>and don't want to know about it's "twist" ending, etc.
>
>What kind of "God" character is it who is "looking out for" the sad
>family portrayed by Mel Gibson & the others? Hmmm, let's see...
>1.) Malevolent "beings" in invisible spaceships are on the "scouting"
>phase of an impending invasion... and they're bound to harm Mel
>Gibson's family especially, since their Crop Circle ends up in his
>field. And so...
>2.) God causes a tired driver to fall asleep at the EXACTLY worst time
>he possibly could--Shyamalan (who plays the character) says it's as if
>it was FATED to happen (or something along those lines)--and his
>vehicle slams Mel's wife into a tree (reminiscent of an episode of
>"HOMICIDE" guest-starring Vincent d'Onofrio, who was pinned between a
>subway car and the platform & doomed to die when they pull him out,
>since his guts would go >ploosh< without the subway car's pressure
>holding them in...). Why does God do this?
>3.) So that God can give Mel's soon-to-croak Wife prophetic insight
>regarding the crucial moment near the end of the flick (the Baseball
>bat: "Keep swinging"), which she imparts to her Job-like husband (i.e.
>he's a good, religious man to whom rotten things happen, in part as a
>test of his faith, presumably) who, unfortunately, misinterprets it as
>a misfiring of neurons resulting in some random memories surfacing
>during the "dying moment". Thus, he loses his faith and abandons his
>role as a minister.
>4.) God also gave Joaquin Phoenix's character the "feeling" that it
>was wrong NOT to swing at every pitch--which ruins his baseball
>career, since he achieves the record for most strike-outs. Why does
>God do this? So that Joaquin--no longer a contender for the major
>leagues--will be able to move in with his older brother (after Wifey
>dies) and be present in the house--with the Baseball bat within his
>reach--at THE CRITICAL MOMENT.
>5.) God gives Mel's son (played by Rory Culkin) asthma, so that his
>lungs will not be able to ingest the ALIEN WRIST-GAS which he's
>threatened with. How lucky for him! Asthma turns out to be a BLESSING
>in disguise! The Lord sure works in mysterious ways, now, doesn't He?
>6.) God somehow makes little Abigail Breslin's character have a
>peculiar phobia about the quality of the tap water: she tends to leave
>lots of nearly-filled glasses of water all around the house, because
>it tastes "contaminated" to her. It's a "thing" she's had all her
>life, according to her brother. As the climax of the movie happens, we
>see that this, too, was all a part of God's Grand Design, since
>Joaquin's baseball bat makes judicious use of those glasses of
>water...
>
>All of this happens in order to thwart the malevolent plans of the
>Crop Circle-making aliens, who--Rory Culkin's character informs us (do
>to his study of a book on UFOs)--intend to take over the planet
>eventually. But there's just one little thing wrong: these aliens have
>a similar sort of reaction to WATER that the extraterrestrials in
>"ALIEN NATION" had--it's like a corrosive to them (or something).
>Now, aside from the sheer bullshittery of this notion (that WATER, the
>Universal Solvent, fer Christ's sake!, could somehow be HARMFUL to a
>lifeform upon mere contact with the skin!), this leads me to the BIG
>QUESTION: if God was so concerned about the fates of his beloved human
>children on this good ol' Planet Earth (especially the ex-reverend Mel
>and his family), WHY go to all that trouble (making Shyamalan's
>character fall asleep & commit vehicular homicide on Mel's wife... so
>that she can give "deathbed" prophetic insight to her grief-stricken
>husband... afflicting their kids with Asthma and Hydrophobia... and
>ruining Joaquin's baseball career)... when ALL THAT THIS "GOD" HAD TO
>DO WAS SIMPLY MAKE IT RAIN?!!! If these mean aliens react badly to
>water, why doesn't God simply do a MINOR miracle and make it rain on
>them? That would have foiled their dastardly plan--and it's not as if
>God doesn't know how to make it rain. Remember Noah & his big boat?
>Making it rain is EASY, if you're a Supreme Being. So why doesn't THIS
>Supreme Being opt for that SIMPLE solution to the problem?
>
>Because the "god" of Shyamalan's flick is as DUMB AS A BRICK. And He's
>a creep, too, because He evidently wants fragile human beings to find
>solace in something as inconsequential (usually) as a deathbed final
>utterance... which requires that utterer, of course, to LOSE HER LIFE
>in a horrendous auto "accident" (which, of course, was NOT really an
>accident, since God made Shyamalan's character fall asleep at the
>wheel)... leaving behind a loving widower husband who has lost his
>faith and two young demi-orphan children. And, even though Mel's
>character should, too, have wondered why God didn't just magically
>make it rain, he somehow regains his faith and returns to the
>ministry! Somehow, Mel has let God "off the hook" for the death of his
>wife (It was really a GOOD thing after all!), and the infliction of
>asthma on his son. If I were him, I'd have asked God: "Hey, God? If
>mere WATER was all it takes to fight these bug-eyed monsters, why the
>f*ck didn't you just make it RAIN? Or at least raise the HUMIDITY high
>enough, so that the friggin' WATER VAPOR in the air could've made it
>too unpleasant for the aliens to hang around? Why not do THAT, God,
>instead of KILLING MY WIFE?!!!"
>But, then, given my agnostic views on religion in general, it
>shouldn't be surprising that I wouldn't find Shyamalan's theatrical
>idea of "God" (and "the Problem of Evil" and "the Reasons for Human
>Suffering") to be not only ridiculous but ethically abhorrent. I don't
>think the Biblical notion of "God" is worthy of Belief, let alone of
>Worship; Shyamalan's "God", too, is unworthy of the appellation.
>
>Newsweek magazine is touting Shyamalan as "the next Spielberg"; aside
>from a few crappy movies ("HOOK" comes to mind), Spielberg has a
>damned good track record, with his first films being the first real
>"blockbusters" ("JAWS", "CLOSE ENCOUNTERS", "RAIDERS", "ET", etc.),
>and his most recent films being more mature ("SCHINDLER'S LIST",
>"SAVING PRIVATE RYAN", "MINORITY REPORT"--which is the best SF film of
>the last decade, in my opinion). Shyamalan's first 2 major films ("6TH
>SENSE" & "UNBREAKABLE") were--I hope--not mere flukes. "SIGNS" is
>getting good reviews--which it does NOT deserve, in my opinion. It's
>LAUGHABLY BAD. One of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. Yeah, I was
>expecting it to be subtly brilliant... profound, even. His last two
>movies led me to believe that he had the Midas touch. As Meat Loaf
>sang, "Two out of three ain't bad"... but Shyamalan would do well to
>have some critical friends of his look over his story treatments &
>scripts first, before going into top-secret production of his next
>flick. Had I had the opportunity to read his script prior to casting &
>preproduction, I'd have pointed out the glaring plot hole which--like
>a Black Hole--swallowed the story's plausibility and crushed it into
>quarks and gravitons.
>Burton's "re-imagined" version of POTA was a work of BRILLIANCE in
>comparison... and we all know how much "POTA 2000" stunk.
>
>Patrick Michael Tilton
>EARTH-TIME 8-04-2002
>
>
>
>

----- Original Message -----

From: LordTZer0@...

To: pota@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Sunday, August 04, 2002 3:05 AM

Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] POTA References

In a message dated 8/4/2002 1:19:30 AM Central Standard Time, mlccougar@... writes:

Is this that band someone posted on at one time in this group... The band that had a bunch of hidden tracks at the end of one their cds with "Apes" movie names?

That's them.

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the .

----- Original Message -----
From: "patrickmichaeltilton" <patrickmichaeltilton@...>
To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Sunday, August 04, 2002 6:33 AM
Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Re: POTA Remake


> --- In pota@y..., Haristas@a... wrote:
> > In a message dated 8/3/02 11:41:47 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
> > patrickmichaeltilton@y... writes:
> >
> >
> > > My preferences for a re-make cast would be:
> > >
> > > TAYLOR--George Clooney (or Bruce Willis); both are not-too-young (as
> > > was Mark Wahlberg), and Willis at least has the "Right-Wing"
> > > credentials to follow in Heston's footsteps. I almost put in Stallone
> > > here, just because his "ADRIAN!!!" scream puts him in the running for
> > > the "IT'S A MADHOUSE!!!" line.
> > >
> > > ZIRA--Emma Thompson (no question)
> >
> > TOO BIG!
> >
> > > CORNELIUS--Kenneth Branaugh (I'm sure he & Emma are back on speaking
> > > terms by now! They worked great together in their Shakespearean days.)
> >
> > TOO BIG!!
> >
> > > ZAIUS--Charles Durning or What's-his-name (the actor who played the
> > > cop in "FX", played killer-clown John Wayne Gacy, was the bartender in
> > > "10", and one of the alien guys in "Cocoon"... Jeezus, what's his damn
> > > name?!). I would have chosen Kenneth McMillan (Baron Harkonnen in
> > > Lynch's "DUNE"), because he's intimidating enough, but (alas!) he's
> > > deceased.
> >
> > TOO OLD!
> >
> > > NOVA--Heidi Klum (insert Homer Simpson drooling impression here...)
> >
> > WHO?
> >
> > > JULIUS--James Gandolfini (hey, he's a blue-collar worker, if ever
> > > there was one!)
> >
> > TOO BIG!
> >
> > > LUCIUS--Robert Downey Jr. (he's done the "talks-too-much" routine
> > > quite nicely before--remember "Back to School"?--and this "annoying
> > > hippie youth" role would fit a misfit like him)
> >
> > TOO BIG and TOO OUT OF IT!
> >
> > > HUNT LEADER--Governor Jesse Ventura (remember his remark about
> > > "hunting Man" some time back?); either him or Ted Nugent (or, have
> > > Nugent be one of the primitive hunted humans, just so he can see what
> > > it's like on the receiving end of a hunter's bullet!)
> >
> > WAY TOO BIG!
> >
> > > HONORIUS--Kevin Spacey
> >
> > THINKS HE'S TOO BIG!
> >
> > > MAXIMUS--Gary Oldman
> >
> > WANTS TOO MUCH MONEY!
> >
> > > PRESIDENT OF THE ASSEMBLY--The guy who played Dean Wormer in "National
> > > Lampoon's ANIMAL HOUSE". What the smeg was his name?!
> >
> > YEAH, ONLY ONE PROBLEM --- HE'S BEEN DEAD FOR YEARS!!!
> >
> > > LANDON--Tom Cruise (the "golden boy"... sounds like a hot-shot "top
> > > gun" kinda guy to me).
> >
> > TOO SMALL!!!
> >
> >
> > > DODGE--Don Cheadle
> >
> > THINKS HE'S TOO BIG!
> >
> > > STEWART--Pamela Anderson (before)... then Joan Rivers (after--no
> > > makeup needed!)
> >
> > TOO BIG BOOBED and TOO UGLY!
> >
> > > and, last but not least...
> > >
> > > QUENTIN--Haley Joel Osment
> >
> > WHO?!!
> >
> > > Patrick
>
> *** What do you mean by "TOO BIG", etc.? Too large, physically (i.e.
> TALL)? Too "big" of a star to do a POTA remake? What?
> And how can an actor portraying Zaius be "too old", since Zaius is a
> grandfather? ["What does this prove? My GRANDDAUGHTER plays with human
> dolls." Zaius, to Cornelius] By the way, I remembered the other
> actor's name: Brian Dennehy.
> By "TOO BIG BOOBED", I'm guessing you're referring to Pamela Anderson,
> but do you think that she (Pamela) is "TOO UGLY", or is it Joan Rivers
> you think is too ugly? I think Joan Rivers looks like the shrivelled
> up corpse Taylor & Dodge & Landon see before the lakewater bursts into
> the cabin, so that's why I think she'd be good for the part--and it's
> a part which, blessedly, wouldn't require her to speak!
> Lastly, by "WHO?!!", are you referring to Haley Joel Osment or to
> Quentin? Quentin--as I'm sure you'll recall--was the kid chimp who was
> in the Zaius Museum with his mother when Taylor was on the run ["Come
> on, Quentin!" sez mama chimp to her kid]. And please don't tell me
> that you don't know who Haley Joel Osment is! Hint: he saw dead
> people.
>
> Patrick
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

----- Original Message -----
From: "patrickmichaeltilton" <patrickmichaeltilton@...>
To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Sunday, August 04, 2002 7:47 AM
Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Re: "SIGNS" (OT) SPOILER ALERT!


> --- In pota@y..., <veetus@e...> wrote:
> > His friends (like Bruce Willis and Steven Spielberg) just call him
Night. Just like we call you Lord. So you guys should be good, then we can
call you Good Night and Good Lord. Etc. - - - Jeff
> >
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: LordTZer0@A...
> > To: pota@y...
> > Sent: Saturday, August 03, 2002 7:03 PM
> > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Signs! Signs! Signs! (They're gonna
get Ya'!) OT
> >
> >
> > Mid-Night Shambala
> >
> >
> > N. Day Shalamar
> > Whatever his name is . . .
>
> *** M. Emmet Shamalamadingdong...?
>
> I saw "SIGNS" the other day, too... and aside from Shyamalan's ability
> to create an eerie, creepy, spooky mood and a few genuinely funny
> moments, I thought this movie was RIDICULOUS. Mind you, I thought "THE
> SIXTH SENSE" was fantastic, and I was one of the few who thought
> "UNBREAKABLE" was pretty damn good (although not quite as good as "6th
> Sense"); but "SIGNS" is built on a premise that is so bogus
> theologically as to be laughable.
>
> SPOILER ALERT!!! Don't read any further if you haven't seen "SIGNS"
> and don't want to know about it's "twist" ending, etc.
>
> What kind of "God" character is it who is "looking out for" the sad
> family portrayed by Mel Gibson & the others? Hmmm, let's see...
> 1.) Malevolent "beings" in invisible spaceships are on the "scouting"
> phase of an impending invasion... and they're bound to harm Mel
> Gibson's family especially, since their Crop Circle ends up in his
> field. And so...
> 2.) God causes a tired driver to fall asleep at the EXACTLY worst time
> he possibly could--Shyamalan (who plays the character) says it's as if
> it was FATED to happen (or something along those lines)--and his
> vehicle slams Mel's wife into a tree (reminiscent of an episode of
> "HOMICIDE" guest-starring Vincent d'Onofrio, who was pinned between a
> subway car and the platform & doomed to die when they pull him out,
> since his guts would go >ploosh< without the subway car's pressure
> holding them in...). Why does God do this?
> 3.) So that God can give Mel's soon-to-croak Wife prophetic insight
> regarding the crucial moment near the end of the flick (the Baseball
> bat: "Keep swinging"), which she imparts to her Job-like husband (i.e.
> he's a good, religious man to whom rotten things happen, in part as a
> test of his faith, presumably) who, unfortunately, misinterprets it as
> a misfiring of neurons resulting in some random memories surfacing
> during the "dying moment". Thus, he loses his faith and abandons his
> role as a minister.
> 4.) God also gave Joaquin Phoenix's character the "feeling" that it
> was wrong NOT to swing at every pitch--which ruins his baseball
> career, since he achieves the record for most strike-outs. Why does
> God do this? So that Joaquin--no longer a contender for the major
> leagues--will be able to move in with his older brother (after Wifey
> dies) and be present in the house--with the Baseball bat within his
> reach--at THE CRITICAL MOMENT.
> 5.) God gives Mel's son (played by Rory Culkin) asthma, so that his
> lungs will not be able to ingest the ALIEN WRIST-GAS which he's
> threatened with. How lucky for him! Asthma turns out to be a BLESSING
> in disguise! The Lord sure works in mysterious ways, now, doesn't He?
> 6.) God somehow makes little Abigail Breslin's character have a
> peculiar phobia about the quality of the tap water: she tends to leave
> lots of nearly-filled glasses of water all around the house, because
> it tastes "contaminated" to her. It's a "thing" she's had all her
> life, according to her brother. As the climax of the movie happens, we
> see that this, too, was all a part of God's Grand Design, since
> Joaquin's baseball bat makes judicious use of those glasses of
> water...
>
> All of this happens in order to thwart the malevolent plans of the
> Crop Circle-making aliens, who--Rory Culkin's character informs us (do
> to his study of a book on UFOs)--intend to take over the planet
> eventually. But there's just one little thing wrong: these aliens have
> a similar sort of reaction to WATER that the extraterrestrials in
> "ALIEN NATION" had--it's like a corrosive to them (or something).
> Now, aside from the sheer bullshittery of this notion (that WATER, the
> Universal Solvent, fer Christ's sake!, could somehow be HARMFUL to a
> lifeform upon mere contact with the skin!), this leads me to the BIG
> QUESTION: if God was so concerned about the fates of his beloved human
> children on this good ol' Planet Earth (especially the ex-reverend Mel
> and his family), WHY go to all that trouble (making Shyamalan's
> character fall asleep & commit vehicular homicide on Mel's wife... so
> that she can give "deathbed" prophetic insight to her grief-stricken
> husband... afflicting their kids with Asthma and Hydrophobia... and
> ruining Joaquin's baseball career)... when ALL THAT THIS "GOD" HAD TO
> DO WAS SIMPLY MAKE IT RAIN?!!! If these mean aliens react badly to
> water, why doesn't God simply do a MINOR miracle and make it rain on
> them? That would have foiled their dastardly plan--and it's not as if
> God doesn't know how to make it rain. Remember Noah & his big boat?
> Making it rain is EASY, if you're a Supreme Being. So why doesn't THIS
> Supreme Being opt for that SIMPLE solution to the problem?
>
> Because the "god" of Shyamalan's flick is as DUMB AS A BRICK. And He's
> a creep, too, because He evidently wants fragile human beings to find
> solace in something as inconsequential (usually) as a deathbed final
> utterance... which requires that utterer, of course, to LOSE HER LIFE
> in a horrendous auto "accident" (which, of course, was NOT really an
> accident, since God made Shyamalan's character fall asleep at the
> wheel)... leaving behind a loving widower husband who has lost his
> faith and two young demi-orphan children. And, even though Mel's
> character should, too, have wondered why God didn't just magically
> make it rain, he somehow regains his faith and returns to the
> ministry! Somehow, Mel has let God "off the hook" for the death of his
> wife (It was really a GOOD thing after all!), and the infliction of
> asthma on his son. If I were him, I'd have asked God: "Hey, God? If
> mere WATER was all it takes to fight these bug-eyed monsters, why the
> f*ck didn't you just make it RAIN? Or at least raise the HUMIDITY high
> enough, so that the friggin' WATER VAPOR in the air could've made it
> too unpleasant for the aliens to hang around? Why not do THAT, God,
> instead of KILLING MY WIFE?!!!"
> But, then, given my agnostic views on religion in general, it
> shouldn't be surprising that I wouldn't find Shyamalan's theatrical
> idea of "God" (and "the Problem of Evil" and "the Reasons for Human
> Suffering") to be not only ridiculous but ethically abhorrent. I don't
> think the Biblical notion of "God" is worthy of Belief, let alone of
> Worship; Shyamalan's "God", too, is unworthy of the appellation.
>
> Newsweek magazine is touting Shyamalan as "the next Spielberg"; aside
> from a few crappy movies ("HOOK" comes to mind), Spielberg has a
> damned good track record, with his first films being the first real
> "blockbusters" ("JAWS", "CLOSE ENCOUNTERS", "RAIDERS", "ET", etc.),
> and his most recent films being more mature ("SCHINDLER'S LIST",
> "SAVING PRIVATE RYAN", "MINORITY REPORT"--which is the best SF film of
> the last decade, in my opinion). Shyamalan's first 2 major films ("6TH
> SENSE" & "UNBREAKABLE") were--I hope--not mere flukes. "SIGNS" is
> getting good reviews--which it does NOT deserve, in my opinion. It's
> LAUGHABLY BAD. One of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. Yeah, I was
> expecting it to be subtly brilliant... profound, even. His last two
> movies led me to believe that he had the Midas touch. As Meat Loaf
> sang, "Two out of three ain't bad"... but Shyamalan would do well to
> have some critical friends of his look over his story treatments &
> scripts first, before going into top-secret production of his next
> flick. Had I had the opportunity to read his script prior to casting &
> preproduction, I'd have pointed out the glaring plot hole which--like
> a Black Hole--swallowed the story's plausibility and crushed it into
> quarks and gravitons.
> Burton's "re-imagined" version of POTA was a work of BRILLIANCE in
> comparison... and we all know how much "POTA 2000" stunk.
>
> Patrick Michael Tilton
> EARTH-TIME 8-04-2002
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

>From: <veetus@...>
>Reply-To: pota@yahoogroups.com
>To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
>Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Re: "SIGNS" (OT) SPOILER ALERT!
>Date: Sun, 4 Aug 2002 08:59:11 -0700
>
> I saw "Sixth Sense" with Natalie Trundy at the Motion Picture Academy
>and
>we were so bore we walked out. This was before it became a big sleeper hit.
>We were so bored we walked out. It seemed like a cheap horror movie to me.
>Though we agreed Osment was a talented tyke in the vein of Roddy. After it
>became a sensation I watched the video and found it to be pretty good. But
>I
>wasn't blown away like Spielberg was (who, afterward wanted to cast Osment
>in everything from "Harry Potter" to "A.I."). Etc. - - -
>Jeff
>
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "patrickmichaeltilton" <patrickmichaeltilton@...>
>To: <pota@yahoogroups.com>
>Sent: Sunday, August 04, 2002 7:47 AM
>Subject: [Planet of the Apes] Re: "SIGNS" (OT) SPOILER ALERT!
>
>
> > --- In pota@y..., <veetus@e...> wrote:
> > > His friends (like Bruce Willis and Steven Spielberg) just call him
>Night. Just like we call you Lord. So you guys should be good, then we can
>call you Good Night and Good Lord. Etc. - - - Jeff
> > >
> > >
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: LordTZer0@A...
> > > To: pota@y...
> > > Sent: Saturday, August 03, 2002 7:03 PM
> > > Subject: Re: [Planet of the Apes] Signs! Signs! Signs! (They're
>gonna
>get Ya'!) OT
> > >
> > >
> > > Mid-Night Shambala
> > >
> > >
> > > N. Day Shalamar
> > > Whatever his name is . . .
> >
> > *** M. Emmet Shamalamadingdong...?
> >
> > I saw "SIGNS" the other day, too... and aside from Shyamalan's ability
> > to create an eerie, creepy, spooky mood and a few genuinely funny
> > moments, I thought this movie was RIDICULOUS. Mind you, I thought "THE
> > SIXTH SENSE" was fantastic, and I was one of the few who thought
> > "UNBREAKABLE" was pretty damn good (although not quite as good as "6th
> > Sense"); but "SIGNS" is built on a premise that is so bogus
> > theologically as to be laughable.
> >
> > SPOILER ALERT!!! Don't read any further if you haven't seen "SIGNS"
> > and don't want to know about it's "twist" ending, etc.
> >
> > What kind of "God" character is it who is "looking out for" the sad
> > family portrayed by Mel Gibson & the others? Hmmm, let's see...
> > 1.) Malevolent "beings" in invisible spaceships are on the "scouting"
> > phase of an impending invasion... and they're bound to harm Mel
> > Gibson's family especially, since their Crop Circle ends up in his
> > field. And so...
> > 2.) God causes a tired driver to fall asleep at the EXACTLY worst time
> > he possibly could--Shyamalan (who plays the character) says it's as if
> > it was FATED to happen (or something along those lines)--and his
> > vehicle slams Mel's wife into a tree (reminiscent of an episode of
> > "HOMICIDE" guest-starring Vincent d'Onofrio, who was pinned between a
> > subway car and the platform & doomed to die when they pull him out,
> > since his guts would go >ploosh< without the subway car's pressure
> > holding them in...). Why does God do this?
> > 3.) So that God can give Mel's soon-to-croak Wife prophetic insight
> > regarding the crucial moment near the end of the flick (the Baseball
> > bat: "Keep swinging"), which she imparts to her Job-like husband (i.e.
> > he's a good, religious man to whom rotten things happen, in part as a
> > test of his faith, presumably) who, unfortunately, misinterprets it as
> > a misfiring of neurons resulting in some random memories surfacing
> > during the "dying moment". Thus, he loses his faith and abandons his
> > role as a minister.
> > 4.) God also gave Joaquin Phoenix's character the "feeling" that it
> > was wrong NOT to swing at every pitch--which ruins his baseball
> > career, since he achieves the record for most strike-outs. Why does
> > God do this? So that Joaquin--no longer a contender for the major
> > leagues--will be able to move in with his older brother (after Wifey
> > dies) and be present in the house--with the Baseball bat within his
> > reach--at THE CRITICAL MOMENT.
> > 5.) God gives Mel's son (played by Rory Culkin) asthma, so that his
> > lungs will not be able to ingest the ALIEN WRIST-GAS which he's
> > threatened with. How lucky for him! Asthma turns out to be a BLESSING
> > in disguise! The Lord sure works in mysterious ways, now, doesn't He?
> > 6.) God somehow makes little Abigail Breslin's character have a
> > peculiar phobia about the quality of the tap water: she tends to leave
> > lots of nearly-filled glasses of water all around the house, because
> > it tastes "contaminated" to her. It's a "thing" she's had all her
> > life, according to her brother. As the climax of the movie happens, we
> > see that this, too, was all a part of God's Grand Design, since
> > Joaquin's baseball bat makes judicious use of those glasses of
> > water...
> >
> > All of this happens in order to thwart the malevolent plans of the
> > Crop Circle-making aliens, who--Rory Culkin's character informs us (do
> > to his study of a book on UFOs)--intend to take over the planet
> > eventually. But there's just one little thing wrong: these aliens have
> > a similar sort of reaction to WATER that the extraterrestrials in
> > "ALIEN NATION" had--it's like a corrosive to them (or something).
> > Now, aside from the sheer bullshittery of this notion (that WATER, the
> > Universal Solvent, fer Christ's sake!, could somehow be HARMFUL to a
> > lifeform upon mere contact with the skin!), this leads me to the BIG
> > QUESTION: if God was so concerned about the fates of his beloved human
> > children on this good ol' Planet Earth (especially the ex-reverend Mel
> > and his family), WHY go to all that trouble (making Shyamalan's
> > character fall asleep & commit vehicular homicide on Mel's wife... so
> > that she can give "deathbed" prophetic insight to her grief-stricken
> > husband... afflicting their kids with Asthma and Hydrophobia... and
> > ruining Joaquin's baseball career)... when ALL THAT THIS "GOD" HAD TO
> > DO WAS SIMPLY MAKE IT RAIN?!!! If these mean aliens react badly to
> > water, why doesn't God simply do a MINOR miracle and make it rain on
> > them? That would have foiled their dastardly plan--and it's not as if
> > God doesn't know how to make it rain. Remember Noah & his big boat?
> > Making it rain is EASY, if you're a Supreme Being. So why doesn't THIS
> > Supreme Being opt for that SIMPLE solution to the problem?
> >
> > Because the "god" of Shyamalan's flick is as DUMB AS A BRICK. And He's
> > a creep, too, because He evidently wants fragile human beings to find
> > solace in something as inconsequential (usually) as a deathbed final
> > utterance... which requires that utterer, of course, to LOSE HER LIFE
> > in a horrendous auto "accident" (which, of course, was NOT really an
> > accident, since God made Shyamalan's character fall asleep at the
> > wheel)... leaving behind a loving widower husband who has lost his
> > faith and two young demi-orphan children. And, even though Mel's
> > character should, too, have wondered why God didn't just magically
> > make it rain, he somehow regains his faith and returns to the
> > ministry! Somehow, Mel has let God "off the hook" for the death of his
> > wife (It was really a GOOD thing after all!), and the infliction of
> > asthma on his son. If I were him, I'd have asked God: "Hey, God? If
> > mere WATER was all it takes to fight these bug-eyed monsters, why the
> > f*ck didn't you just make it RAIN? Or at least raise the HUMIDITY high
> > enough, so that the friggin' WATER VAPOR in the air could've made it
> > too unpleasant for the aliens to hang around? Why not do THAT, God,
> > instead of KILLING MY WIFE?!!!"
> > But, then, given my agnostic views on religion in general, it
> > shouldn't be surprising that I wouldn't find Shyamalan's theatrical
> > idea of "God" (and "the Problem of Evil" and "the Reasons for Human
> > Suffering") to be not only ridiculous but ethically abhorrent. I don't
> > think the Biblical notion of "God" is worthy of Belief, let alone of
> > Worship; Shyamalan's "God", too, is unworthy of the appellation.
> >
> > Newsweek magazine is touting Shyamalan as "the next Spielberg"; aside
> > from a few crappy movies ("HOOK" comes to mind), Spielberg has a
> > damned good track record, with his first films being the first real
> > "blockbusters" ("JAWS", "CLOSE ENCOUNTERS", "RAIDERS", "ET", etc.),
> > and his most recent films being more mature ("SCHINDLER'S LIST",
> > "SAVING PRIVATE RYAN", "MINORITY REPORT"--which is the best SF film of
> > the last decade, in my opinion). Shyamalan's first 2 major films ("6TH
> > SENSE" & "UNBREAKABLE") were--I hope--not mere flukes. "SIGNS" is
> > getting good reviews--which it does NOT deserve, in my opinion. It's
> > LAUGHABLY BAD. One of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. Yeah, I was
> > expecting it to be subtly brilliant... profound, even. His last two
> > movies led me to believe that he had the Midas touch. As Meat Loaf
> > sang, "Two out of three ain't bad"... but Shyamalan would do well to
> > have some critical friends of his look over his story treatments &
> > scripts first, before going into top-secret production of his next
> > flick. Had I had the opportunity to read his script prior to casting &
> > preproduction, I'd have pointed out the glaring plot hole which--like
> > a Black Hole--swallowed the story's plausibility and crushed it into
> > quarks and gravitons.
> > Burton's "re-imagined" version of POTA was a work of BRILLIANCE in
> > comparison... and we all know how much "POTA 2000" stunk.
> >
> > Patrick Michael Tilton
> > EARTH-TIME 8-04-2002
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